Monday, September 19, 2005


Dost ye be talkin like a pirate today? Ye better be, lest ye be wantin' me ta run ye through with me dagger! Don't ye knowin that today is more important than all other days, fer today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

And don't ye forget it, lest I "forget" to post me rapid-fire-movie-reviews yet again...

TLAPD on Wikipedia
Official TLAPD website

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Rapid-fire... uhh what?

Okay…here we go…

War of the Worlds:

THOUGHTS: War of the Worlds was, in one word, uneven. It had some very good moments, but it also had some very awkward and clunky moments. In my opinion, the moment we first see a tripod come out of the smoke works really well…in fact, I think that very well may be the best movie moment of the summer so far.

But for every part that worked very well, there were just as many that fell flat. And by flat, I mean FLAT. I don’t care what anybody says, the tentacle in the house was boring and tedious. Perhaps if I cared about the characters more, my disbelief could be suspended enough to actually be scared for them. But despite major acting talent, the movie is flawed by terribly uneven writing. It’s not even that the writing is BAD. It’s very dark and gruesome at times, but also unnecessarily cheery at others.

FINAL VERDICT: Go see it anyway. Sure, it’s uneven. Sure, some of the things the characters choose to do won’t make the slightest bit of sense. Sure, the ending employs dues ex machina(which, I admit, I wouldn’t have known the meaning of if it weren’t for the inside cover of a video game.). But the good moments are good enough it warrants at least one view.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory:

THOUGHTS: This movie was the one I looked forward to most expectantly at the beginning of the year. My excitement had waned in recent months, but I’m not quite sure why. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was wonderful. It outdoes the 70s movie in many ways, and yet it doesn’t ruin the experience of watching the old one. Johnny Depp plays quite a different character than Gene Wilder did, but it works perfectly for this particular film. I love Gene Wilder Wonka dearly, but that character wouldn’t have fit in with this film at all.

What I liked: the oompa loompa songs (which, unlike the old one, were the ones actually written by Roald Dahl [and sung by Danny Elfman]). The ending. I’m told it’s closer to the book’s ending, which I’ll admit I’m not qualified to say.

Also, I found the title quite ironic. The old one, named “Willy Wonka” was—in actuality—about Charlie. But the new one, named “Charlie” delves much more into the character of Willy Wonka than of Charlie. I very much liked the way Tim Burton dealt with it, and liked even more seeing Christopher Lee on screen (yeah, you’d think it’d get old after a while…).

(And as a sidenote: I think that it is scientifically proven that Christopher Lee will never die. If this were to happen, the universe would simply cease to exist.)

FINAL VERDICT: See it. Have fun. Repeat as desired

Okay, I know that that’s only two movies. I’ve got 2 left to be written (plus one for crash that I wrote shortly after seeing it.) So bear with me. They’ll all be up eventually for all of my adoring fans to read and gush over my glorious movie-analyzing and writing ability. Cheerio.