Monday, April 25, 2005

Here we go again

Well, here's the deal. I've got my final project for digital production (narrative) due a week from tomorrow. That, coupled with finals week, means that I'll be abstaining from the use of the internet until further notice. I'm going to disconnect my ethernet cable, and have my roomate hide it. No E-mail, no web, no watching Battlestar Galactica episodes on the server, and no blogging until at least the second week of may. It's crunch time.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005


iPod: $299
Carrying case and in-ear headphones: $39
The presidential Election: $126 million in campaigning costs
Stealing music: Free

Having that information released to the public and being sued by the RIAA: Priceless

Gear Live | George W. Bush Steals Music

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Truth trumps worry

I apologize for not updating for real in a while. I also apologize in advance if this post is long-winded, makes no sense, is emotional or whatever. I'm just writing to get my thoughts out there.

But basically my life has been a jumble recently. It's a combination of a bunch of random feelings, thoughts and realizations. Like the realization of just how much my life has changed from a year ago. When I go home this summer, everything will be different; it's almost like it won't really be home: My church will have a different senior pastor. Paul Thomas will live in Texas. There won't be a YMV (my old Homeschool group), or at least not the YMV I knew. And then I hear news of people I used to go to YMV with (both those that are now at KEYS, and those that have graduated) and that gets me down as well. And this July, for the first time in almost 10 years--that's the majority of my life--there will not be a celebration (for those not in the know, celebration is a multi-church retreat at liberty university, and has become a very important event every year for spiritual growth, and hanging out and getting to know how to know people. It will leave a void in my summer. I'm not looking forward to it not existing). I may go back to Chick-Fil-a for a little while, but very few (if any) of the old people will still be working there. And then I'll probably get a job somewhere else, where I'll know even less people. It really just seems like my past is slipping out from my fingers--and the harder I try to hold on to it, the more of it slips away. Of course, not every change is a bad thing. I'm kind of looking forward to having Keith as a pastor, and not working at chick-fil-a. But the fact that it'll be different and alien will still be unsettling.

But even if I manage to get a mental hold of my ill-begotten past, then up comes my future, and he proceeds to crack at me with a double flying backflip asskick. I found out last week that one of my two film professors is leaving--the one that teaches all of the production classes. I was fortunate enough to be able to take Digital Production a year early--and that'll be the last class he teaches. I was signed up to take 16mm in the fall, but now that's in question. Is Messiah even gonna hire a replacement for him? They haven't been that great to the film program in the past, and there's no reason to think that they will be in the future. But the even bigger thing in question is my entire college career. Does this mean I should leave Messiah? Or would that be copping out? Even if i did leave, where would I go? Community college? ODU? how do I know my credits would even transfer? oyg. just oyg.

And then of course there's the immediate future. I've got a bunch of speaker responses from Intro to COM that I haven't written, and they're due on wednesday. And then there's my group presentation due a week from friday, about supernatural gifts (which I haven't worked on at all, by the way). Heh. Oh yeah. And then I've got to write and shoot my final narrative--for which I haven't even decided on a story idea. And then there's my insecurities about film: Do I really want to do it? If so why? Have I found my "style" yet? Do I want to direct? Do I want to write? If so, do I even want to write films? Am I even any good at writing? Why does my professor like the one film that I farted out in two days rather the other two that I planned for weeks in advance? I don't really know.

But even with all of that, I'm okay. No really, I am. Honestly, It's weird how just one thing can change everything --when God is involved. I went to a worship practice at Living Hope (the Sovereign Grace church of Harrisburg) last night, and met some cool people. And not only cool, but cool people that were passionate about God and His Church. That one two-hour meeting was enough to counter all of the bad feelings that I just mentioned.

One guy there, when I said I was from Virginia Beach, asked me if I knew the song "Truth". I said that yeah, my worship leader co-wrote it, and I had a copy in my dorm room. He asked if he could have a copy, and i said sure. So I made one today, and happened to glance at it afterward.

The truth is You cause the sun to rise
and dance into my window
The truth is You order every step
including those I fear
The truth is when first You made the stars
My name was on Your heart
The truth is the more I know of you
The more my heart rejoices